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I Wanttt a Unicorn Frappe!!!

Theatre Review by Michael Dale - June 4, 2026


Sabina Friedman-Seitz and Rachel Lin
Photo by HanJie Chow
Described by its author as "an angsty girly comedy", the second most noticeable thing upon entering The Tank's premiere production of Catherine Weingarten's I Wanttt a Unicorn Frappe!!! (the first most noticeable thing is the life-sized cutout of a smiling barista, ready to serve you) is a colorful sign encouraging, "Try the New Unicorn Frappe Today! Only available for four days!"

Coffee franchise historians will note that in April of 2017, Starbucks dominated social media platforms by introducing an ultra-sugary, pink and blue concoction called The Unicorn Frappuccino for a limited availability of seven days.

The obsessive demand that can be caused by limited availability (McRib, anyone?) seems to be a major theme in Weingarten's very funny, and subtextually very disturbing, hyper-caffeinated commentary on American wedding culture, especially as it pertains to the pressure felt by brides to put together a perfect day as the beginning of a perfect life with a perfect spouse.

The centerpiece of director Alex Tobey's breakneck-paced production, in which the design team of Benny Pitt (set), Olivia Vaughn Hern (costumes), Hayley Garcia Parnell (lighting), Mellie Way (sound) and Maya Ramdayal (props) terrifically balance elevated reality with over-the-top fantasy, is Rachel Lin's comically energetic, but abundantly sympathetic portrayal of Jenny, a bride-to-be who, at least at first, seems happily delusional about her relationship with her fiancé Sebastian (Fernando Gonzalez).

"Ahhh, I still can't believe I'm engaged!! And shall marry a real live man within two weeks, ahhh!," she explains to her wedding planner Darla (Sabina Friedman-Seitz), who dutifully mirrors her enthusiasm.

"So Sebastian and I just had this intense five course meal I paid for because I have a job and stuff," Jenny explains about the night of his proposal, "And we went to this two-dollar ice cream place and he said he'd buy me an ice cream! Which was so kind of him."

While Sebastian's meager earnings as an SAT tutor shouldn't stand in the way of romance, you'd expect the extreme lack of time he spends with Jenny and his disinterest in planning their wedding with her as he stays late at work and leaves town two weeks before the wedding to attend a "wannabe lawyer's conference" might be a concern. But his fiancée just smiles with admiration. ("I'm so proud of you, hun. Trying to be a lawyer!")

To his credit, Sebastian doesn't seem like such a bad guy. Just one who isn't ready for commitment. And his aversion to attending wedding planning meetings seems understandable after Darla rejects all of his ideas. He met Jenny while still wounded by a bad breakup, and his main attraction to her, as he explains, is that she seemed amazed by everything he did.

"She like asked me out and looked at me like I was a Renaissance sculpture come to life. Like I changed her or something just by being hot... I don't think this is a love story. I don't know what kind of story this is."

Jenny's universal acceptance of Sebastian's shortcomings seem to have been acquired by her mother (Meg MacCary), who, while tasting wedding cake samples from a feminist bakery called Second Wave of Yummy ("So this flavor is Fuck the Patriarchy Vanilla"), recalls how after her wedding was over, "I ate so much and your father got mad at me. Said I would get too fat to be married to."

A very effective aspect of the play is that every time Jenny and her mother recall actions by their male partners that audience members would find unacceptable, they do so with warm, glowing, unironic smiles. Only Jenny's best friend Cassandra (Lindsley Howard) senses something wrong, but any disagreement endangers her status as maid of honor.

It's Cassandra who convinces Jenny to try the limited edition Unicorn Frappe, and though the bride-to-be is avoiding excessive calories, she quickly becomes addicted to the sugary treat ("It just tastes so happy."), especially when it triggers fantasies of a princely version of Sebastian who (gasp) spends time with her, talks with her, and is interested in what she has to say.

Can society's insistence that there's a limited availability of marriageable men keep Jenny committed to her fiancé when she can imagine someone who genuinely likes her and makes her happy?

While this 66-year-old never-married male theatregoer has no first-hand experience with the pressures and expectations satirized by Weingarten, I've heard plenty of stories from friends that confirm the legitimacy of her targets, as did my post theatre discussion with my guest, a women friend who has had substantial exposure to wedding culture.

And while we both agreed that the ending left us hanging a bit as to what exactly happens, there is certainly enough cleverness and cake for thought in I Wanttt a Unicorn Frappe!!! to recommend taking advantage of its, at least for now, limited availability.


I Wanttt a Unicorn Frappe!!!
Through June 21, 2026
The Tank
312 W. 36th Street
Tickets online and current performance schedule: thetanknyc.org