Mary Kalita Photo by Lois Tema

Ruthless! tells the story of little Tina Denmark (Melissa Momboisse), only eight years old, but with the, yes, ruthless heart of someone far older. You see, Tina's got the talent and the unbridled ambition to be a superstar, but when the lead role of Pippi Longstocking in her school's production of Pippi in Tahiti goes to the far less capable Louise Lerman (thanks to Louise's parents' hefty donation to the school), Tina makes sure there is zero chance Louise will make it to curtain time, allowing understudy Tina to shine her light.

Tina is under the wing of star maker Sylvia St. Croix (J. Conrad Frank), who, after seeing Tina impress the residents at a local assisted living facility, is ready to mold Tina into a star of the first rank. "I'm your Auntie Mame, your Mama Rose," she tells Tina. Frank is marvelous in the role, lapping up every snarky line and sashaying through each scene with the regal bearing of a woman who wears the several opulent hats (costumes by Wes Crain) as though they were crowns. Sylvia's horror when another character claims she isn't acting, but instead is "indicating," is a priceless moment.

The entire cast is terrific, each finding ways to milk the most from Paley's book, which seems to have one great line after another. My favorite might be when Judy Denmark (Mary Kalita), Tina's mother, brushes Sylvia off with a "I don't know how to say this... I've outgrown you." Then, a split second later, "Oh, I do know how to say it." As Judy, Kalita is to be congratulated for transforming her role from Martha Stewart happy homemaker in act one to vicious Broadway starlet in act two, losing the pirouetting, skirt-twirling maternal figure and replacing it with a slithering, snarly physicality.

The secondary roles are just as entertaining, thanks to wonderfully over-the-top performances from Jacqueline De Muro as cruel theatre critic Lita Encore, Lucca Troutman (in two roles), and Andrea Dennison-Lauter as Tina's third-grade teacher, Miss Thorn. Dennison-Lauter does a great job of shifting between gentle primary school teacher and the shrieking harpy of a director wrangling a recalcitrant, untalented cast. Pay attention to her hair as the show progresses; with each scene in which she appears, the number of pencils stuck in her giant coif (wigs by Deon Glass) increases until her head looks like a renaissance painting of St. Sebastian. Glass's wig for Tina is also marvelous, with pigtails thick as a fire hose.

The band, led by Joe Wicht, is terrific, often adding musical stings to heighten the comedy, without ever interfering with the flow. Wicht directs the four-piece group (two keyboards, bass and drums) with precision, making the quartet feel much bigger.

As I said in my 2023 review of the show, Ruthless! is "a joyous escape into a world where almost no one is truly nice or kind, but are so funny and so much fun to watch that you'd invite them to your next party even if you were worried they'd poison the punch if any your guests were rivals for stardom." This isn't truly a holiday show–the only references to Christmas are the ersatz trees in the Denmark home (amazing set by Matt Owens)–but if you want the gift of two hours of laughter, hope for tickets to Ruthless! be under your tree this year.

Ruthless runs through January 11, 2026, at New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness Avenue, San Francisco CA. Performances are Wednesdays-Saturdays at 8:00pm and Sundays at 2:00pm. No show December 25. Tickets are $43.50-$69.50. For tickets and information, please visit NCTCSF.org or call 415-861-8972.